You're Invited

to my pity party. I haven't been posting much this week because I've been busy. But, I've also been at a pretty sad pity party for one. I'm working on being thankful and recognizing the blessings we have not to mention how incredibly lucky we are. However, it is a struggle. Although John's recovery is going VERY well and he is working VERY hard there are still a lot of adjustments that we (I) are having to make about our routines*.

Because the doctors don't want John's hand to get wet or bumped in the area where the pins are located, a lot of the daily work has fallen to me. Which is okay, because I like to work hard. Just not all the time. It has been almost a month since our accident or roughly four weeks. It has been exactly that long since John has changed a diaper. Or washed dishes. Or given William a bath. Or been able to pick William up and hold him when he is crying. Or carry him to the car from a store. Or carry anything with two hands. What might be hardest of all is knowing I can't leave the house at by myself while William is awake for any length of time because John is simply not able to handle a diaper change on his own.

This has been difficult for me because John and I have been a team for a long time (we started dating in 1996 for those of you who keep track of these things which would equal almost 13 years). There are just some things that are unspoken: John takes care of dishes after dinner and empties all the garbage along with many, many other tasks. Always. Now things are different and I hate to admit that I'm not taking it well.

To add to the workload, I'm also trying to fight off the intense nesting bug. Before Christmas I had a mantra "We'll get the house together after Christmas. We'll focus on the house after Christmas..."

Only, now the major projects I had outlined for 2009 are either unable to be completed because of John's injury, because we spent a lot of our money we had set aside for house projects on a new car or because I'm now too crabby to tackle some of the projects by myself.

So, I'm frustrated. And crabby. And pregnant. And craving chocolate. A huge amount of chocolate. A vat of chocolate with a Diet Coke might just bring me out of the funk. But, I know that isn't the problem, so I'm trying not to overdo the sweets/caffeine thing (I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had ANY). All of my plans for moving/decorating/finishing/carpeting/etc are now on hold and I'm not handling it very gracefully. But, I'm working on it.


*To be clear, John is working very hard at his recovery. I am so proud and thankful that he is working so hard and doing so well with the healing. I am frustrated with the changes in our daily lives NOT with him (although he has taken the brunt of my frustration recently). He is now able to complete most tasks by himself without assistance. Early on, he needed help with everything (YES, EVERYTHING...how many hands does it take for you to take off your pants?).

**End is in sight. Pins will come out next week on Tuesday. I can't wait=understatement of the year.